Sipping champagne and marveling at an exquisite pair of nipple tassels - not exactly what I expected I would be doing on Valentine’s Day. Complete with corsets, suspenders, glitter and marvel - Club Noir is not your average romantic Valentine’s Day surprise, and of course, not for the faint-hearted. It is, in fact, as far as can be from average, being the biggest burlesque club in the world, and tantalizing audiences around Scotland with the greatest cabaret, burlesque and can-can shows.
Extravagant performances and frivolous acts are just some of the specialties at Club Noir. It is also famous for its music, films, theatre shows and workshops. Founded in 2004, it is the oldest burlesque club in the UK and holds themed events in Edinburgh and Glasgow four to six times a year, making its club nights rare and even more unique than a typical night on the town. The theme this Valentine’s in Glasgow’s 02 Academy was ‘Valentine’s in New York’ – encouraging the illicit love monkey in all of us to come out and play. With the audience adorned in a decadent mélange of costumes including vintage, lingerie, Rockabilly and femme fatale, I can guarantee this dazzling audience of 1100 was definitely worth experiencing. Singles, couples and those in-between, relished in everything 1920’s New York had to offer – silent movies, flapper dancers and cocktails, as well as DJ sets inspired by the modern day New York music scene. The atmosphere was electric. In the city of Glasgow, which, as we know, holds some of the most committed partygoers in the UK, Club Noir has a chic repertoire of shows that would impress those from all walks of life.
Club Noir Shows
This year’s extravaganza included acts such as Statue of Liberty – a beautiful blonde bombshell who certainly ignited the naughty flame within all of us! Minsky’s Burlesque on the Lower East Side with Gypsy Rose Lee’s infamous striptease, ‘Camp America’ with gay disco Duo Ballet Blue and The Latex Loveheart Lady.
Music
“If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere, New York, New York” – The inspiring words of Frank Sinatra still ricocheting between one’s eardrums after a night on the town is never a bad thing! Especially when it comes to a night clad in glitter and glamour. The music at Club Noir is always varied and fitting with the theme of the night. Valentine’s in New York saw the likes of DJ Loveless and DJ Poprock with a diverse selection from New York’s music scene, from vintage to modern, elevating the motion of the innocent Valentine’s ‘Day’ into this edgy and devious Valentine’s ‘Night’.
Extra Delights
As a person who admits to being partial to the odd Martini, Club Noir’s selection of delicious cocktails made me weep (out of joy, of course!) As well as a huge cocktail menu there is a Champagne Bar, 700+ seats and a balcony. This year there was also a beauty stall from Lush, allowing us to gloss ourselves in the future, and powder ourselves into the past with the vintage make-up of New York. To top this, there was also a photo booth so that couples and friends could take photographic evidence of their quintessential New York look.
Audience
One of the things that singles out Club Noir from other club nights is the audience. Amicable and well dressed, the crowd creates an atmosphere so nonchalant and suave that we very much dread the return to our ever so less sophisticated lifestyles. Relaxed but also excited, I savoured moments amidst this crowd like a hyperventilating schoolgirl at Disney Land.
All in all, it was an evening that I’m sure will be a highlight of my 2014, and an event that should be experienced by everyone. As Chicago’s Velma Kelly once said - “It’s just a noisy hall, where there’s a nightly brawl… And all that Jazz.”
You can read more from Mina, the author of this article, on her own blog.
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